Welcome to the Sugary Scoop, my free weekly newsletter where we help you see and experience the magic of NYC that I love so much through curated events, experiences, artists, and community stories.

Let’s get to this week’s Scoop!

While I’m in Taiwan for the month, I’m gonna treat it as an opportunity to bank in a lot of new content.

The goal is that by the time I leave this island, I’ll have a steady stream of content ready to go to share with all of you.

But even before that I’m gonna be trying a lot of things out because…why the hell not?

I’m gonna do more stories, go live, shoot content about my travels and in general just try to be more active because I really want to figure this out while I have some measure of time to experiment.

It’s gonna be a bit random, I’m sure it’s gonna get a bit messy but I hope y’all out there enjoy this “work in progress”.

In the meantime, DK has edited a bunch of clips that we took from our podcast recordings before I left and you’ll start seeing these pop up in the coming weeks.  Both DK and I would love to know what you think!

Our @sugary.nyc Instagram has launched. Don’t forget to show us some love and give us follow!

And comment "community" on our latest post for premium access to the Sweet List events app.

🍬 Sugary

THE SUGARY EFFECT

Imagine Dragons

As I rounded the bend at the entrance to my parents’ housing complex, vast towers rose up all around me to block out the sun.

“Cambridge Towers” they called it, but no vestiges of the famed Europine city nor its American counterpart could be seen or felt.

No, the sensation was more along the lines of North Side, Cell Block B.

My parents live on the 2nd floor with a perfect overlook point of the main courtyard, a fact that my mother used to great advantage.  Within the darkness was a pair of beady eyes that peered over and surveyed the proximity with a frosty vigilance.  

I don’t care if you are a church mouse, if you crossed the courtyard and so much as made a sound, my mom clocked you.  And sure enough as I rolled up to the apartment with my big ass suitcase, catching every divot and crack it could possibly find on the ground, my mom had me in her sights at what seemed a full click away without a scope…the Navy Seals would be proud.

If you were expecting a jubilant turn at this point, you clearly aren’t familiar with the tenets of Asian familial disappointment and before I  set foot in the door this lovely Asian lad had racked up decades of filial debt with my unorthodox lifestyle abroad.

As I got settled in, we sat across from each other with a palpable measure of awkwardness and one look at my dad and I knew something was coming, I just didn’t know exactly what…and when.

One late evening, as I unsuspectingly lay on the bed taking meetings and attending to the affairs of the day half a world away, my father entered the room and stood over me at the foot of the bed.

I had been outmaneuvered it seemed.

Like a legion of archers with the high ground repelling an interloper, arrows of indignant disapproval rained down on me in hopes of finding its true mark, as he dropped the words:

不孝有三，无后为大

"There are three ways to be unfilial, and having no descendants (specifically sons, i.e. dragons) is the greatest"

Talk about a swift kick right to the balls…thanks Mencius, you Confucian cad.

Out of all the things my dad could have talked to me about, this was where he chose to make his last stand…

I had to be pro procreation.

I was seemingly caught in this ancestral play where every character has their part to play and there is only one acceptable outcome.

And so once again, I was the outlier in the Su family, the childless wonder staring blankly at the looming presence of my father’s disapproval.

You know what the irony is? I’m great with children and love having them around both in presence and for the spirit they represent.

I find them to be exceptional in a world that is growing far less spectacular by the minute.

And if I can’t offer a better life than the one I have now, I don’t want to be irresponsible.

I offered both of these points to my father in a meager attempt at a mounted defense, who rejected them outright with fortified impunity.

He told me in a highly irritated tone, 

“If the world is so terrible, raise your kid to be a positive force in the world and if you don’t want to be irresponsible…then simply DON’T BE, commit to being responsible and find a way. But don’t give me excuses and run away from your responsibilities. Your work doesn’t matter, your brand doesn’t matter, NONE of it matters relative to THIS.  You may have been born in America, but you’re raised Chinese and so you should respect your culture’s priorities and quit being so damn selfish…

…it’s so American of you.”

Bars. I gotta give him that.

As my father left the room in quiet disdain, I was left to contemplate my life choices with a healthy dose of fresh guilt layered on top.

Had I really miscalculated that poorly? Born into a country that holds individualism at a premium, was I in fact plunging my family into irreversible shame and despair simply for “choosing my own path”?

That obviously wasn’t my intent but there’s a road to hell I heard paved with that somewhere…

It made me think about how many of my other friends and peers were going through something just like this, caught in a schism of intersecting cultures and a clash between ancient and modern ideologies competing for each successive generation’s buy-in and thus survival.  Hollywood seems to indicate this is a far larger shared experience nuance aside than people may realize (I.e. My Big Fat Greek Wedding, The Big Sick, Crazy Rich Asians, etc…)

I do know this much, no further expectation or pressure will continue on through me.  If I have children, whatever their decision I truly and absolutely wish them well without condition.

I am Chinese, but I subscribe to a more modern perspective. Right or wrong it’s what I believe to be the best.

As the evening drew to a close and my eyes grew heavy, my mind managed to hone in on the very recent memory of my really close college friend and her young daughter who I met for the first time because they happened to be in Taiwan right as I arrived to see my parents.  I had not seen her or her family in years which had gained a +1 since we last met.

She was so full of energy and character and that memory instantly filled my heart with so much joy.

It was such a nice thought to take with me as I dreamt the night away contemplating my own uncertain future…hopefully a generative one...

🍬 Sugary

NOTABLE NYC EVENTS, HAND-PICKED BY SUGARY AKA THE SWEET LIST HAS MOVED!

Big news: The Sweet List is now a full mobile app.

Same hand-picked events. Same social battery levels and "Your People" descriptions. But now you can actually filter by what matters to you instead of scrolling through a wall of text every Monday.

Plus we're no longer limited by newsletter character counts, which means more events, more opportunities, more options for your liking.

What's changing:

• All events now live at sugarynyc.com

• Free users see this week's events

• Paid subscribers get a 3-week lookahead so you can actually plan.

What's staying the same:

• Every event is still personally vetted by me

• Trust icons, experience tags, social battery levels, "Your People" descriptions

• You'll still get this Monday email with highlights

• The vibe remains "events you'd never find on your own"

Free premium for a week: Follow us on our new IG @sugary.nyc and comment "community" on our latest post. We'll auto DM you a access code for free premium access.

We just dropped 42 vetted events for the next few weeks.

AND DON’T SAY I DIDN’T TELL YOU ABOUT…

On Wax

What is it about the sound of vinyl?

I’ve often heard adjectives such as warm, authentic, organic but maybe it’s not only about a description of the listening experience so much as it is also how it makes you feel inside.

It’s no secret vinyl has made a nostalgic return to popularity on decks and merch tables all over the world and the momentum itself only seems to be picking up.

And so it’s fitting that the subculture of vinyl listening events are also enjoying more of a limelight these days.

One such series championing this movement is ON WAX.

Founded by recording artist JP Reynolds who is a self-proclaimed collector of vinyl and certified enthusiast, the series which is an evening of exploration both of music as well as a thoughtful pairing of wines, was initially started as an extension of JP’s natural interest along both of these fronts.

But all that changed when the initial event was posted on Tik Tok…and things kinda went viral quickly (I was one such person who discovered this series during my doomscrolling).

Since that moment, the “vinyl tasting experience” as JP puts it  has grown steadily as word continues to get out.

I had the pleasure of attending one of the events over the holidays where they spun Nat King Cole and Mariah Carey for the obvious holiday hits while inviting a winemaker to introduce her series of wines which were available for purchase at the bar all night at a special price for the evening.

I enjoyed the experience although it’s important to note that the event invited both a social and listening element to the experience.  

It was made clear at the start of the event that people should be given the space to experience the music as they saw fit.

The crowd seemed somewhat evenly split between those that wanted to focus on mingling and catching a vibe versus those who were more intent on listening to the records themselves in reflective appreciation. 

I was in the latter camp and enjoyed the experience while respectful socializing occurred around me.  

JP himself was minding the decks and denizens all night long sharing facts about the LPs themselves to anyone who ventured up front to strike up a conversation.  He also made frequent pilgrimages from beyond the dais to serve up a bit of hospitality to his appreciative attendees.

All in all, I’d say this nascent series has tremendous promise and deserves the long play.

So if you’re feeling up for a bit of curated music accompanied by an evening of non-litigious libation, ON WAX is definitely for you.

Turn out, tune in and take it all in…one note at a time. 

🍬 Sugary

NYC Community Week Update

So I am pleased to announce that we have officially received our second major gift to help advance NYC Community Week forward! The funds will be used to create a sustainable structure for the event going forward as well as provide us with greater leeway to explore offering some microgrants to select participating communities.

For me it’s the largest single dollar gift I have ever received and so I am honestly at a loss for words. It’s certainly an inspiring development and tangible reassurance that we are going in the right direction with is.

Community Week is happening this May. If this resonates with you, there are three ways to help:

Donate: Even small contributions add fuel to a fire that's already burning. Link HERE.

Bring programming: If you're part of a community, host events, or have ideas for activations during Community Week, reply back. We want to hear from you.

Sponsor or partner: If you or your company wants to be part of something that's actually building social infrastructure in NYC, let's talk. Reply to this email.

This is collective action that we’re excited to build together with you.

Connect IRL. Experience Fabrik.

Get in touch with NYC’s brightest communities and make new friends.

Fabrik is a home for communities and where everyone has a place to belong. With spaces designed to feel more like your living room than your office, Fabrik’s 'third spaces' are vibrant hubs where you can come together in real life, explore interests, forge meaningful connections, and enjoy a sense of community.

Sign-up here to experience a free trial at Fabrik.

Weekly events at Fabrik HERE

Othership

Othership offers immersive sauna and ice bath experiences that help human beings feel good now. A sanctuary for social self-care to move you from city buzz to inner calm.

Dive into the largest performance saunas in North America, experience otherworldly ice bath spaces and connect in an intimate amphitheater-style tea lounge surrounding a cozy fire place for socializing.

Expect towel-waving performances, aromatherapy, guided breathwork, visualizations, and somatic release to help you shift your state and regulate your emotions, in a world that can’t be regulated.

The founders of Othership have gifted us a New York 2 for 1 Deal. Get yours while they last!