Welcome to the Sugary Scoop, my free weekly newsletter where we help you see and experience the magic of NYC that I love so much through curated events, experiences, artists, and community stories.

Let’s get to this week’s Scoop!

Our YouTube Channel is UP!  

After all this time, we’ve finally launched our presence on the platform and this is where our podcast and other long form content will call its home.

As far as cadence we’re in the process of figuring it out so bear with us, but it’ll be a mix of full podcast episodes as well as shorter vignettes that’ll bring you deeper into the world of Sugary.

Please follow the link HERE and thank you so much for all your support and patience with this.

Our @sugary.nyc Instagram has launched. Don’t forget to show us some love and give us follow!

And comment "community" on our latest post for premium access to the Sweet List events app.

🍬 Sugary

The Notebook, An Open Book Test

I’ve always admired the beautiful tale portrayed by Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams of Nicholas Spark’s classic tale of unrequited love between Noah and Allie.

And I don’t care who you are, that shit is damn good.  Even if you’re the type to try and deny it. Forget about it…I’m not taking you seriously if you have even a modest interest in the idea of what love could be.

At its face, the book and the film convey a perfect sense of this idea of commitment, the great lengths taken by both characters to remain together through it all and ties it up into a nice and neat bow that amounts to a highlight reel of triumph via tribulation just so that we can get to that ugly cry just a bit quicker.

I’d like to share a similar yet slightly different tale with you…

Only his name isn’t Noah and her isn’t Allie, it’s Lo-Yung and Rebecca. 

My parents.

Oh…I’m sure you’re familiar with how it goes, I mean Noah and Allie gave you a glimpse of it, except where they spared you the details, I’ll keep a few in to paint a clearer picture.

Because that’s ACTUALLY the point. To take a longer look into the day to day, the tremendous challenge of it all in the latter years of life and somehow persevere despite everything.

Noah and Allie as it seems…quite literally buried the lead.

Well since I’m here with my parents let me share a small sample of what I’ve seen of what commitment ACTUALLY means and you tell me what you think:

My stroke debilitated father wakes up every morning extra early to make breakfast for my mother. We have an aide that helps for lunch and dinner but mother hates her cooking with a remarkable level of awkward candor and so my father plays diplomat, eats the stuff she hates the most, convinces her that maybe it’s not SO bad in order to get her to eat (she currently weighs 65 pounds) and even makes additional food my mother prefers in order to supplement the lackluster meals.

Dementia and perhaps early on-set Alzheimer's means that my mother becomes easily confused and is also a broken record in excess of 30-40 times a day on any number of combined topics. Yet my father hums to that tune each time as if it was his favorite song with patience and even manages a joke or two to lighten the mood.  How he does that 365 days a year is beyond me…I’ve been here for only a month and I swear…some days…<sigh>…

Mild cases of agoraphobia and photophobia has become part of the package deal so getting my mother outside is a daily chore. My father never forces her to and for much of the day sits with her in minimal light and manufactured darkness, then spends about 15-30 min. each day to convince her she can and should in fact walk around the block and catch some modest sunshine and exercise.

Throughout this all, my father always gives my mother the feeling like she still wears the pants and has the power of choice. It’s a Sisyphean task, but he places her DIGNITY above everything else. It’s far far easier to overpower and ignore her honestly irrational and tiring protests yet that is not his chosen route.  And he won’t let anyone else do it either…I should know…anytime I try it, he reminds me that she is still my mom and more importantly that she is still his wife.

My father is clear on the possibility that he may pass on before my mom.  No illusions of passing on peacefully together at the same time here.  And so he’s devoted much of his life savings so my mother can live on through the care of relatives and yours truly should this come to pass.  No one is not taken care of…an insurance policy against the inevitable come what may. If life is a game of chess, he’s the equivalent of a grandmaster with the amount of moves he sees ahead on the board…he checks all the boxes for his mate.

Why was I inspired to mention all of this?

Maybe it’s because it’s nearing Valentine’s Day…

But maybe it’s also the fact that we live in a world that is perpetually sold on the saccharine ideals of love yet far too often fall peril to over romanticizing things without acknowledging this simple point:

Love is really hard. I mean really hard.  Virtually all aspects of it and particularly in later life.

In sickness and in health is a real doozy…

If he wanted to he would?…

It’s a flippant phrase I see on so many clips on social media that portray a singular moment of grand gesture as gospel, absent the context of real life and justification to project a disparaging and judgmental eye on all current or possible partners.

It’s a precursor to permissive disposability.

Well what if he really really didn’t want to, would he still? What if his gears are grinded down to the studs at the frustration of it all? What if he’s at his wits end with no end in sight?…

‘Cause that’s the real world version of that question. 

And by the way the same goes for her if the shoe was on the other foot...dedication to a partner in life knows no gender…and no sexuality for that matter to be clear.

Love is in the end an open book test.  You have all the notes in front of you, you have been taught what to do and you have all the reference points in the world at your disposal at will, but the question is will you do it when it really counts? And will you do it over…and over…and over again?

For all the qualms I have with my father, it’s hard to argue that he hasn’t done an exceptional job caring for the woman he loves.  

You may not ever see holding hands, or even so much as an affectionate word uttered, but if you’re really looking…

it’s clear to see real love...

…in-between the lines.

🍬 Sugary

Big news: The Sweet List is now a full mobile app.

Same hand-picked events. Same social battery levels and "Your People" descriptions. But now you can actually filter by what matters to you instead of scrolling through a wall of text every Monday.

Plus we're no longer limited by newsletter character counts, which means more events, more opportunities, more options for your liking.

What's changing:

What's staying the same:

Free premium for a week: Follow us on our new IG @sugary.nyc and comment "community" on our latest post. We'll auto DM you a access code for free premium access.

We just dropped 42 vetted events for the next few weeks.

Kaiju Big Battel

You all know the WWE legends…Triple H, John Cena, The Undertaker and so on and so forth…

Maybe you even know the likes of the legendary mega monsters of Japan (aka Kaiju) Godzilla or Mothra…

But what Doctor Cube? Or Hell Monkey for that matter? Unicorn Party anyone?…

Well if you haven’t the folks over at Kaiju Big Battel seek to change all that by leveling city after city in an all out wrestling rumble meant to delight the senses, amp up the ridiculousness and have some all around good ‘ol’ family fun.

And yes this is for “All Ages” so it is kid friendly. Don’t expect anything much beyond PG-13 action here, but for those who want to indulge in a little bit of zany fun and outlandish visuals, this might just be the thing to entertain you and a few friends.

Picture the fact that fairly immediately you get sucked into a Power Ranger-esque low budget brouhaha as costumed contenders exchange pun filled insults and exaggerated gesticulations all in the name of an imminent rumble taking place center stage…amidst an unending series of cardboard and papier-mâché “buildings.

For actual wrestling fans, don’t look for anything revelational in terms of skill, but there are definitely a few highlights to confirm the fact that there is some level of real skill and training involved here.

In the one I attended, it was a whole epic soap opera of good vs. evil, betrayal, questionable refereeing practices, and even a redemptive arc.  

The characters got crazier and the costumes got crazier looking as the rounds worked their way into the final championship round. By that point the whole audience was bought in…including the kids who were quite frankly out for blood more than even the adults…or at least cardboard anyways.

Ultimately, Kaiju Big Battel is a fun evening as long as you don’t come in with the attitude of being too cool for it all. The more you play along, the more you get into it and pretty soon you too will be chanting, 

“Battel! Battel! Battel!”

Grab your popcorn, the Kaiju are in your city…let the rampage begin…

🍬 Sugary

As we ramp up the planning for NYC Community Week with the existing community partners that have already committed to joining us in May, we’re continuously on the lookout for communities that we may not be as aware about.

Therefore, we’re putting out an open call to everyone in hopes of connecting with more social communities out there in the city that would benefit from this collaboration.

Whether you’re a person that knows of a social community, are a member of such a community, or lead a social focused community yourself, we want to hear from you!

Please feel free to reach out to either DK or myself and we would be delighted to be connected!

Community Week is happening this May. If this resonates with you, there are three ways to help:

Donate: Even small contributions add fuel to a fire that's already burning. Link HERE.

Bring programming: If you're part of a community, host events, or have ideas for activations during Community Week, reply back. We want to hear from you.

Sponsor or partner: If you or your company wants to be part of something that's actually building social infrastructure in NYC, let's talk. Reply to this email.

This is collective action that we’re excited to build together with you.

Get in touch with NYC’s brightest communities and make new friends.

Fabrik is a home for communities and where everyone has a place to belong. With spaces designed to feel more like your living room than your office, Fabrik’s 'third spaces' are vibrant hubs where you can come together in real life, explore interests, forge meaningful connections, and enjoy a sense of community.

Sign-up here to experience a free trial at Fabrik.

Weekly events at Fabrik HERE

Othership offers immersive sauna and ice bath experiences that help human beings feel good now. A sanctuary for social self-care to move you from city buzz to inner calm.

Dive into the largest performance saunas in North America, experience otherworldly ice bath spaces and connect in an intimate amphitheater-style tea lounge surrounding a cozy fire place for socializing.

Expect towel-waving performances, aromatherapy, guided breathwork, visualizations, and somatic release to help you shift your state and regulate your emotions, in a world that can’t be regulated.

The founders of Othership have gifted us a New York 2 for 1 Deal. Get yours while they last!